I just found out my girlfriend isn’t a virgin.
Her kids and I are shocked.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Tinsel on His Helmet
My grandfather was highly decorated in World War Two.
In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel on his helmet that got him shot.
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The Student Discount at the Brothel
A student comes to a brothel and says, “I want sex, but I’m a student, I don’t have much money.”
They tell him, “Okay, we have a special offer for students: it costs $1 to insert, $1 to pull out.” The student chose a girl, they went to the room. They got into bed, started. He put it in her and doesn’t move. She screams, “Pull out, pull out!” He replies, “I’m out of money.”
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The Lesbian Bar With No Fire Exits
A guy walks into a bar.
He sits down at the counter and orders himself a beer. As he’s drinking it, he starts looking around the barroom. He sees the tables, the dance floor, the wall pictures, and other typical bar stuff, but something feels a bit off to him about this place. He takes another quick look around at all of the women dancing, chatting, and having a good time. Then it finally dawns on him.
This lesbian bar had no fire exits.
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Two Dead Dogs
Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
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A Stroke at Any Time
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
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Failed Sex Ed
Bobby and Jack got their report cards from school and found they failed sex ed…
Bobby told Jack, “I’m so angry, I want to kick Ms. Williams in the nuts!”
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Basketball Teams Could Score More Points Together
if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points
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Keep Dreaming Buddy
Called my boss this morning, asked him if I could come in late today because I’m super tired. He said, “Keep dreaming buddy.”
Which was super nice and unexpected of him.
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Wouldnt Watch That If I Were You
look what I found in my mother’s room
Aye man, I wouldn’t watch that if I were you
