Delivery Style: bait and switch

Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Walking Home From the Local in Belfast

    A man was walking home from his local in Belfast when he felt something prod in his back and a voice whisper in his ear, “Tell me. Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He gulped and said nothing.

    The voice angrily whispered, “Tell me! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

    The man shat himself a little and thought, it’s fifty fifty if I live if I tell the truth or lie.

    The thing in his back was pushed harder, the voice now much louder, “Tell me! Are you Catholic or Protestant!?”

    In a very quiet voice the man says, “I’m a Jewish boy” and the voice behind him says, “I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast tonight!”

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  • So They Don’t Poke Your Eye Out

    Why are pubic hairs curly?

    So they don’t poke your eye out.

  • Insufficient Funds

    Banks should do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled.

    This is the fifth one I’ve been to that says Insufficient Funds.

  • Doctors Have Described His Condition as Stable

    BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.

    Doctors have described his condition as stable.

  • Genealogist vs Gynecologist

    What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

    One looks up your family tree. The other looks up your family bush.

  • Do Not Resuscitate

    I gave my wife a bracelet that belonged to my grandmother. I thought that it was a caring gesture. My wife was not happy.

    The bracelet said, “Do Not Resuscitate.”

  • A Couple of No Shows

    I was recently invited to a 3-way.

    There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a great time.

  • No Fuckin Chocolate

    A customer walks into an ice cream shop and asks for a pint of chocolate ice cream.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The person behind the counter says, “I am sorry but we are out of chocolate ice cream, may I get you a different flavor?”

    The customer thinks for a moment and asks for a quart of chocolate ice cream.

    The person behind the counter says, “I am sorry but we are out of chocolate ice cream, we have no chocolate ice cream. Is there a different flavor that I can offer you?”

    The customer thinks for a moment and asks for a half gallon of chocolate ice cream.

    The worker’s jaw drops and they reflect on this for a moment, then ask the customer, “Can you spell the ‘van’ in vanilla?”

    “What?” exclaims the customer. “What does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘van’ in vanilla.”

    Skeptically the customer says, “Um, okay… V-A-N. But what does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘straw’ in strawberry.”

    “What?” exclaims the customer. “What does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘straw’ in strawberry.”

    Skeptically the customer says, “Um, okay… S-T-R-A-W. But what does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘fuck’ in chocolate.”

    The customer thinks for a moment and exclaims, “There is no ‘fuck’ in chocolate!”

    The worker replies, “Correct! That is what I have been trying to tell you — there is no fuckin’ chocolate.”

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  • Ready To Settle Down

    Ready To Settle Down

    Her: I’m ready to settle down

    Also her:

    [photo of a giant sinkhole]

  • Up to My Chin Should Do It

    A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.”

    So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy guy asks, “You want that pasteurized?”

    “Nah,” the man replies. “Up to my chin should do it.”