Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A student comes to a brothel and says, “I want sex, but I’m a student, I don’t have much money.”
They tell him, “Okay, we have a special offer for students: it costs $1 to insert, $1 to pull out.” The student chose a girl, they went to the room. They got into bed, started. He put it in her and doesn’t move. She screams, “Pull out, pull out!” He replies, “I’m out of money.”
A guy walks into a bar.
He sits down at the counter and orders himself a beer. As he’s drinking it, he starts looking around the barroom. He sees the tables, the dance floor, the wall pictures, and other typical bar stuff, but something feels a bit off to him about this place. He takes another quick look around at all of the women dancing, chatting, and having a good time. Then it finally dawns on him.
This lesbian bar had no fire exits.
Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
Bobby and Jack got their report cards from school and found they failed sex ed…
Bobby told Jack, “I’m so angry, I want to kick Ms. Williams in the nuts!”
if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points
Called my boss this morning, asked him if I could come in late today because I’m super tired. He said, “Keep dreaming buddy.”
Which was super nice and unexpected of him.
look what I found in my mother’s room
Aye man, I wouldn’t watch that if I were you
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. Then tell it that unless you get a cool half-mil, you’ll sell to the highest tabloid bidder those embarrassing photos of it puking naked in the alley.
The Top 13 Signs a Cartoon Character Is a Terrorist (Part II)
13. Maybe it’s the burqas, but there’s something unsettling about Jihad and the Pussycats.
12. Miss Hannigan is hard of hearing and thinks she has been promised 72 urchins.
11. You overhear “Eh, what’s up, bin Doc?”
10. Who else would have masterminded the tainted spinach outbreak last September?
9. You hear “Arriba! Arriba!” and look up to see an unattended, ticking package where there was nothing a moment before.
8. Cathy hasn’t packed on as many pounds over the years as you’d think: “Ack! This sweater won’t fit over my suicide belt!”
7. “I tawt I taw an imperialit devil. I did! I did see an imperialit devil!”
6. He’s on Al-Jazeera declaring, “Ubuhdee ubuhdee ubuhdee ubuhdee ubuhdeath to America!”
5. When that sociopathic, sadistic bitch once again yanks the football away from Charlie Brown, he cuts off her hands then has her stoned to death.
4. Your interrogators seem to think this Pinocchio character is lying.
3. “Duck season!” “Rabbit season!” “Duck season!” “Rabbit season!” “Rabbit season!” “DucKA-BOOOOOOOOOOM!”
2. Seen taking ACME BAT WING flying lessons without learning how to land.
1. “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for some mustard gas today.”
