Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
An annoyed lady approaches Little Johnny after watching him eat a bag of candy for some time.
“You know little boy, eating that much candy isn’t good for you!”
“Oh yeah, well my grandpa lived to be a hundred.”
“Oh really? But did he eat a lot of candy?”
“No, but he minded his own fucking business!”
An older neighbor runs into Little Johnny as he’s coming home from school
“How are you, Johnny?”
“Fine.”
“And how is school?”
“Fine.”
“And how are your parents doing?”
“Fine.”
“Tell me, do you have any other words in your vocabulary besides ‘Fine’?”
“Dad said I’m not allowed to say ‘Fuck Off’ yet.”
Three men were comparing how dumb their blonde wives were.
The first man said, “My wife is so dumb, she can’t do math past the third-grade level!”
The second man said, “Oh yeah? My wife is so dumb, she thinks Cheerios are earrings!”
The third man said, “I’ve got you both beat! My wife is so dumb, she was packing to go on a girls trip last week, and she must have packed a hundred condoms. And she doesn’t even have a single penis!”
Before the crowbar was invented, I bet that crows used to just drink at home.
My cousin was going on and on about how an onion is the only food that can make you cry without eating it. So I hit him in the face with a coconut.
Did you hear about the two gay Irish men? They are a perfect match.
Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick.
A redneck tells his buddy, “Hey, I just got a promotion! I’m the boss’s sexual consultant.”
His buddy says, “Sexual consultant? How did you get that job?”
And the redneck says, “I told the boss he should fire Jones in accounting. And the boss said, ‘When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.’”
A man leaves for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home afterward, he spends the entire weekend hunting with his buddies and blows his whole paycheck.
When he finally gets home Sunday night, his wife is furious. She spends the next two hours giving him an earful.
Finally, she asks, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
He replies, “That’d be fine with me.”
Monday comes and goes, and he doesn’t see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday pass with the same result.
By Thursday, the swelling has gone down just enough for him to see her out of the corner of his left eye.
