My friend hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Robert.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Beating Around the Bush at the Brothel
A man goes to a brothel where they line up 10 naked women for him to choose from at the cost of $1000. Nine are very unattractive to the man, but off to the side he sees the most beautiful young woman who also has the hairiest vagina he has ever seen, but was holding up a $500 sign that said no oral or penetration.
“What’s the deal with her?” the man asked, still intrigued.
“With her you can only beat around the bush.”
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Two Medical Students Diagnose an Old Man Walking Stiff-Legged
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.”
The other student says: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”
Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, “We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?”
The old man said, “I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.”
The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought — but you are wrong.”
The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought — but you are wrong.”
So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”
The old man said, “I thought it was gas — but I was wrong, too!”
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Overnight Flight Lavatory
A man and a woman are on board of the plane of an overnight flight.
“Looks like everyone’s asleep, let’s go…”
Sound of footsteps.
“There’s a free one right there. No one’s looking, you go in first.”
“It’s a bit tight… let me sit down. Did you bring a condom? Put it on, quick!”
Loud heavy breathing.
“Oh, my god… it’s amazing.”
A long, drawn-out sigh.
A hissing sound over the intercom, followed by a voice: “This is the captain speaking. I am addressing the two passengers who have locked themselves in the rear lavatory. We know what you’re doing in there, and it is strictly prohibited by airline regulations. Ditch the cigarettes and take the condom off the smoke detector!”
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Barbie Really Squirts
Barbie really squirts
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5 Miles in 30 Seconds
DURING SEX YOU BURN AS MUCH CALORIES AS RUNNING FOR 5 MILES.
WHO THE FUCK RUNS 5 MILES IN 30 SECONDS?
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Priests at a Police Checkpoint
Two priests are driving down the highway and they come across a police checkpoint. They roll the window down as the officer walks up to the car.
The officer leans into the car window and says, “We’re looking for two child molesters.”
The priests look at each other for a moment then turn back to the officer and say, “We’ll do it.”
