Delivery Style: bait and switch

Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • And then I saw her face

    When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face…

  • He ripped me off

    You know that guy who made the movie “Super Size Me,” in which he gained 31 pounds after eating nothing but McDonald’s food for an entire month? That dude totally ripped me off. I did it first, except he filmed it or something.

  • Stop pretending that I cared

    My wife stopped pretending to have orgasms years ago. That’s all right with me, though, because it allowed me to stop pretending that I cared.

  • Souble Standards

    When I’m sitting in a restaurant with a date and she asks, “Do you mind if I smoke?” I always feel like saying, “No, but do you mind if I sit here beside you and discreetly masturbate under the tablecloth?”

    Regrettably, I never do, since by the time she gets around to asking about the cigarette, I’m usually half finished and have no intention of stopping anyway.

  • A complete prick

    When I first met Richard Peter Johnson, he seemed like a decent guy, but he turned out to be a complete prick.

  • Came out of the closet

    While the police are wrongly referring to it as an aborted attempt to rob a convenience store, I couldn’t be prouder that I finally came out of the closet with my pantyhose fetish.

  • A ceiling rafter

    I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today…

    It turns out he was a ceiling rafter.

  • A lot of things changed

    When my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot of things changed.
    Like my name, my phone number, and my address.

  • Ex-Wife’s Comeback: Love Beyond Worn-Out!

    A husband sees his ex-wife on the street. Knowing she remarried, he says, “Hey! How does your new husband like that worn-out old pussy of yours?”

    And she says, “He likes it just fine, once he gets past the worn-out part.”

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  • I didn’t know she sold flowers

    My girlfriend asked why I never buy her flowers.

    I told her I didn’t know she sold flowers.