Delivery Style: deadpan

Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Before the Crowbar Was Invented

    True fact:

    Before the crowbar was invented…
    …most crows drank at home.

  • Started to See a Little

    I said to my wife, “I want to marry another woman.” Just to see her reaction.

    On the first day, I saw nothing. Then on the second day, I still saw nothing. On the third day, I started to see a little with my left eye.

  • She’s Intuit

    I convinced my wife to do a sexy role play with me where we pretend to be financial corporations.

    She’s Intuit.

  • To Beat the Crowd

    Why do riot police go to work so early?

    To beat the crowd.

  • It Just Rolls Off the Tongue

    My favourite word is drool.

    It just rolls off the tongue.

  • You Should Be Hung

    I was sitting down having a beer watching my wife mow the lawn, and this old lady came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”

    I shouted back, “I am… that’s why she mows the lawn!”

  • Filled It With Spring Water

    My ditzy neighbor bought a waterbed and said it was way more bouncy than he expected…

    He said, “I’m guessing it’s because I filled it with spring water.”

  • No Word Yet

    My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out.

    No word yet…

  • Such a Small Organ

    In bed with a priest, a nun said, “Father, I never expected you’d have such a small organ.”

    He replied, “Why, Sister… I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral.”

  • Feeling a Little Down

    I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.

    Then I started feeling a little down.