Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always pronounce her name “Jiggle,” because I’m thinking she probably does.
Delivery Style: deadpan
Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop
The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop whatever I’m doing and let him finish by hand.
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Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise
Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise to publish the following hint: “Tired of sleeping on the wet spot? Keep a hair dryer plugged in next to the bed. One minute on high is all it takes to dry that spot up so you can sleep easy.”
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Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl
Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl.
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I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For
I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For example, I believe He brought me the new receptionist so I can stare at her tits all day.
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My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
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The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
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I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close,
I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
