handjobs to everyone in the neighborhood.
Delivery Style: deadpan
Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they run a business like everyone, but I still think hookers should at least give premature ejaculators a discount.
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Apparently the entreaty, “But Honey, it was just *GAY* porn!”
Apparently the entreaty, “But Honey, it was just *GAY* porn!” doesn’t earn you a reprieve.
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When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally
When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally probed. I don’t remember what the alien looked like, though, because it disguised itself as my wrestling coach and forced me to drink a mind-control drug from a tequila bottle.
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People often wonder how I climbed the corporate ladder so
People often wonder how I climbed the corporate ladder so quickly. Personally, I think it’s due to my ignoring my career counselor’s advice and refusing to remove “fellatio expert” from my resume.
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I still don’t understand what went wrong. I thought it was a
I still don’t understand what went wrong. I thought it was a pretty foolproof idea to take my animal-loving, PETA-member girlfriend down to Tijuana for a real, live donkey show.
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If zombies survived by eating genitalia instead of brains, I’ll
If zombies survived by eating genitalia instead of brains, I’ll bet there would be more than a few living guys who, when faced with an imminent attack, would consider it, then say, “What the hell…”
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I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just
I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just saying her neighbor should know that helicopters can’t land on the roof because there’s no room up there.
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I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one
I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one uses real gluten-free organic flour, Cockasaurus or Diggly Wiggler?
