A young lady goes to her professor and says “Sir, I know I’m failing this course, but I really need to pass it, and I’m prepared to do anything to see that I do!”
The professor says, “So, would you-”
“Yes!”
“-be prepared to-”
“YES!!”
“…study?”
Delivery Style: dialogue
Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Zodiac Dinosaur
SO… WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
DINOSAUR
BUT THAT ONE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST
NONE OF THEM EXIST
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Johnny’s Surgery Gets Out of Hand
“Doctors and Nurses”
A woman brings ten-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her ten-year-old daughter.
Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.”
“Never mind sex” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fucking appendix out!”
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Virgin Bride’s Three Failed Marriages Explained
A middle aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride says to her new groom, “Please promise to be gentle,… I am still a virgin.”
The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married 3 times before.”
The bride responds… “Well you see it was this way: My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”
“My second husband was a gynecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”
“And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he ever wanted to do was……………..God I miss him!”
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Marine’s Unexpected Request Leaves Sex Workers Surprised
The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said “well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine”
“Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked. She said “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much”
“So I told him a blow job would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either”
“Finally I said, well, how much do you have”? The marine said that he only had $25. The new hooker said “well, for $25 all I can give you is a hand job”
He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said “he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand…..”
“Oh my god” they all exclaimed, “it must have been huge…. then what did you do?”
“I loaned him $75!” she said.
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Horseshoe Versus Whore’s Shoe: Times Have Changed
A grandfather went to visit his college-age grandson at the dorm. Grandpa was astonished to find that his son was living a life of sin and corruption, as shown by the very high-heeled shoe nailed over the doorway.
In my day, grumbled Gramps, we would hang a horse shoe over the door for luck and then study late into the night hoping to pass our classes.
But grandpa, replied the grandson, that is a whore’s shoe.
