Some people think I’m paranoid, but you never know when a rearview mirror on your stationary bike will come in handy.
Delivery Style: One-liner
One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’ll bet the best thing about having your hand cut off is when you’re arguing with
I’ll bet the best thing about having your hand cut off is when you’re arguing with somebody and you say, “Talk to the hook.”
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I saw a quote that said: “Don’t say you don’t have time.
I saw a quote that said: “Don’t say you don’t have time. You have as much time as Albert Einstein or Thomas Edison did.” Yeah, but they were smarter than I am.
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With pilot-buying season coming up, I’m hoping CBS will greenlight “CSI: Boise,” because
With pilot-buying season coming up, I’m hoping CBS will greenlight “CSI: Boise,” because I relish the idea of seeing someone hacked to death over a stolen lawn gnome.
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I think there is nothing sadder than a crying clown — unless the clown is crying
I think there is nothing sadder than a crying clown — unless the clown is crying because he got hit in the crotch with a football, which would be hilarious.
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Visiting a bordello builds character and toughness.
Visiting a bordello builds character and toughness. I say this thinking of the advice my friend gave me: “If you fall off a whore, get right back on.” Oh, and quickly too, or you’ll have to pay again.
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There goes my baby…
There goes my baby… walkin’ on down the line. Of course, had Sam Cooke understood that in Euclidean geometry, a line is an infinite succession of points and that he would likely never see his baby again, he might have reconsidered his lyrics. Another forceful case for erasing math illiteracy in the USA.
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A wise saying in a trying moment is like bread during a famine: Better keep it to
A wise saying in a trying moment is like bread during a famine: Better keep it to yourself, or people will tear you apart.
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If “freedom” is just another word for “nothin’ left to lose,” I wonder if Kris
If “freedom” is just another word for “nothin’ left to lose,” I wonder if Kris Kristofferson can find a cooler word for my situation, too, because “kleptomania” is just so clumsy.
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I wonder if the illegal aliens living in the US find all these “Earth Day” celebrations
I wonder if the illegal aliens living in the US find all these “Earth Day” celebrations to be exclusionary and somewhat insensitive to beings from their own home planets.
