It’s great that the letters in Jim Morrison’s name can be rearranged into a cool nickname: “Mr. Mojo Risin’.” My friend Bart Enos is stuck with “Bear Snot.”
Delivery Style: One-liner
One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle is very well named.
Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle is very well named. Despite my physics professors having explained it to me dozens of times, I’m still not sure what it’s all about.
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The U.S.
The U.S. Treasury has redesigned the $20 bill twice, yet never bothered with the $1 bill because its denomination is considered not worth counterfeiting. Personally, I think they’re overlooking the crucial strip-club factor.
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I wonder why Mexico makes such a big deal about Cinco de Mayo.
I wonder why Mexico makes such a big deal about Cinco de Mayo. I mean, who *hasn’t* defeated the French?
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When my sister takes her kid to the mall, she puts him on one of those kiddie leashes so
When my sister takes her kid to the mall, she puts him on one of those kiddie leashes so he doesn’t get lost. How creepy is that? Personally, I think he’d be much safer and happier if she left him at home in his crate.
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I wonder if the clothing and shoe factories of Southeast Asia ever have “Take Your
I wonder if the clothing and shoe factories of Southeast Asia ever have “Take Your Parents to Work Day.”
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I look to nature to find which diets actually work.
I look to nature to find which diets actually work. I suggest the squirrel diet, because you almost never see a fat squirrel. It’s easy: Just lose 99 percent of the food you hid around the house.
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When I turned 40, I decided to clean up my act and gave up drinking and smoking.
When I turned 40, I decided to clean up my act and gave up drinking and smoking. Man, it was tough — there’s no way I’d have gotten through that period without my heroin.
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I don’t think it’s right to accuse me of lacking confidence just because I walk eight
I don’t think it’s right to accuse me of lacking confidence just because I walk eight batters to get to the opposing pitcher.
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You reach my age and you start to believe your chance to be cool has passed you by.
You reach my age and you start to believe your chance to be cool has passed you by. Then you see some guy in a tattered overcoat washing car windows for change and you think, “Hey, I could do that!”
