Live each moment as if it were your last. Life becomes more enjoyable if you think you’re about to die.
Delivery Style: One-liner
One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
This time of year, the frost on the ground and the chill in the air fill me with energy
This time of year, the frost on the ground and the chill in the air fill me with energy and goodwill. They also fill me with thankfulness that I don’t have any nipple jewelry.
-
As I lay face-down and naked, tied up on the railroad tracks, with the honey poured over
As I lay face-down and naked, tied up on the railroad tracks, with the honey poured over my buttcrack starting to attract ants and bees, I began to wonder what exactly is so great about playing Truth or Dare.
-
If Earth is really just a grain of sand in the universe, I’ll bet we’re stuck in God’s
If Earth is really just a grain of sand in the universe, I’ll bet we’re stuck in God’s Speedo and we’re driving him nuts.
-
You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out.
You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out. You put your right hand in and shake it all about. Good for doing the hokey pokey; not so much for trying to figure out why your wood chipper stalled.
-
This customer service job would be a breeze if it weren’t for all these whiny, pushy,
This customer service job would be a breeze if it weren’t for all these whiny, pushy, complaining, help-me-now customers.
-
When I was a little boy, like a lot of kids at that age I had a special friend who was
When I was a little boy, like a lot of kids at that age I had a special friend who was imaginary. But time passes, and you grow up and realize *all* your friends are imaginary.
-
I’ve been getting my ass kicked in our local rec league so much lately, I think I’ve
I’ve been getting my ass kicked in our local rec league so much lately, I think I’ve developed athlete’s butt.
-
I shudder to think at the amount of domestic violence that has resulted from the
I shudder to think at the amount of domestic violence that has resulted from the re-release of the VW Beetle.
-
What’s the male equivalent of women’s intuition?
What’s the male equivalent of women’s intuition? Most likely, it’s hitting something really hard and seeing if it still causes a problem.
