Delivery Style: One-liner

One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the

I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the military, especially when you consider how much the army likes to keep its privates at attention.
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little

I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability

I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability to lick their privates in exchange for having to lick their own butts clean.
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of

What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion:

Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion: “The gift that keeps on getting.”
Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks

Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks.
I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the

I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the fashion industry is too afraid to show off their new paisley butt-plug, who needs their opinions?
When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think

When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think it he was talking about the effect of sleep on morning wood.
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to

Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
Somebody once wrote, “Quality questions create a quality life,”

Somebody once wrote, “Quality questions create a quality life,” but my quality question to women I bump into at the mall, “Do you want to have sex with me?” usually results in a restraining order.