Last night, my girlfriend told me that I’m her “number one.” That’s just great: Not only does she see another man, but I’m more numb than he is.
Delivery Style: wordplay
Wordplay joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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You Can Trust Me As Far As You Can Throw Me
If I were a midget used-car dealer, my motto would be “You can trust me as far as you can throw me.”
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The Cola Wars
Call me embittered, but I lost a mother and two brothers to the Cola Wars, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose my pop!
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Molotov Was a Beer Drinker
I’ve got ten dollars that says Molotov was a beer drinker.
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Neither Repeating Nor Terminating
My math teacher calls the 14th of March “Pi Day” because it’s 3/14. I celebrated by neither repeating nor terminating for the whole day.
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Sweet Carol Line
My name’s Carol.
Really? Me too!
I’m also Carol.
Me too!
Hi, I’m Carol.
Sweet Carol line.
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Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann
Suppose Dolly Parton married Tom Smothers, then divorced him and married Stuart Little, divorced him and married Martin Short, then divorced him and married Leslie Mann.
Her name would be Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann.
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Sofishticated
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.

