At dinner, a little boy was asked to lead the prayer. “But I don’t know how to pray,” he replied.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosFormat: dialogue
Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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You Wanted Me to Say Shingles
A man claims he has the smartest dog in the world. His friend doesn’t believe him.
“Prove it,” the friend says.
The man points to his dog and says, “Go get me something to eat.”
The dog runs off and comes back with a sandwich.
“Lucky guess,” says the friend.
The man tries again: “Go get me something to drink.”
The dog runs off and comes back with a soda.
The friend is impressed but still skeptical.
“Alright… ask him something harder.”
The man nods and says, “What’s on top of a house?”
The dog barks, “Roof!”
The friend laughs. “That’s it? Any dog could do that!”
The dog looks at him and says, “You wanted me to say shingles?”
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Youll Never Hit Her From Here
Two guys were out playing golf.
Dan stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity – looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
Finally his exasperated friend Ken cried, “What’s taking so long? Hit the damn ball!”
“My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot,” answered Dan.
“Forget it, man,” said Ken. “You’ll never hit her from here.”
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Traumatized by the Ninth Grade
Wife approaches her husband while he is reading a book.
“Promise me you won’t get mad,” the wife whispered, her eyes fixed on the floor.
Her husband looked up from his book. “I promise. What’s going on?”
“And you won’t hit me?” she pressed.
The husband laughed, pulled her close, and said, “I have never laid a hand on you and I never will. You can tell me anything.”
She closed her eyes and braced herself for a slap. “I’m pregnant.”
“That’s incredible news!” Husband shouted, over the moon. “Why would you think I’d be angry about that?”
Wife wiped her brow and said, “I guess I’m just traumatized. Because when I told my mom the same thing in the 9th grade, she nearly killed me.”
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Little Johnny Loses Grandpa
Little Johnny got lost in the shopping mall…
He approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”
The guard asked, “What’s his name?”
“Grandpa.”
The guard smiled, then asked, “What’s he like?”
The boy paused for a moment, then replied, “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits!”
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Little Johnny and the Mortgage
Little Johnny wanted a $200 bike, but his dad shut him down fast:
“Son, we have an $80,000 mortgage and I just got fired. No bike. Period.”
Two days later, Johnny is at the front door with a suitcase, looking like he’s moving to Mexico.
His dad asks, “Where the heck are you going?”
Johnny looks him dead in the eye and says:
“Look, I walked past your bedroom this morning. I heard you tell Mom you were ‘pulling out,’ and Mom said she was ‘coming too.’ Well, I’m not an idiot! I’m leaving now because I’ll be damned if I’m the only one left here to pay off that $80,000 mortgage!”
