Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.
“Does your wife ever … well, you know … does she … well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two.
“Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?”
“Well… not exactly. More like she rolls over and plays dead.”
Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Alan.
Instructor: Welcome to salsa class! Who’s ready to learn how to dance?
Me, hiding a bag of tortilla chips: There’s been a misunderstanding.
A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. “Any specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.
“Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours,” she replied. “Do you think I might be a haemophiliac?”
“Well,” the doctor answered, “Haemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a haemophiliac. Tell me, how much do you lose when you have your period?”
After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, “Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess.”
A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?”
The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, a man’s penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his sixties, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes. Dried up, and the balls are there only for decoration.”
A young man asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After sixty, they are like onions.”
“Onions?”
“Yes. See them, and they make you cry.”
Salesman to boy answering the door… “Hi, is your mother in?”
“Yes,” said the boy, “she’s out in the back yard screwing the goat.”
“I don’t believe it,” said the salesman.
The boy says: “Come and see for yourself.”
So the salesman looked in the back yard, and sure enough, there was the goat screwing the mother.
The salesman said to the boy, “Isn’t she afraid she’ll get pregnant?”
The boy says… “N-a-a-a-a-a-a-“
Little Jenny came home from school one day and she ran straight to the bathroom and started to cry. Her mother, concerned about her went in and asked what was wrong.
“Well,” replied Jenny, “we just learned in health class that the baby comes out where the boy’s penis goes in. Is that true?”
“Sure honey, but that’s nothing to cry about,” said her mother.
Then Jenny replied, “But when I have Johnny’s baby, I’m afraid it’ll knock out a few of my teeth!”
