Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always

Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always pronounce her name “Jiggle,” because I’m thinking she probably does.
Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes

Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes sense when you think about it. Sometimes you really have to grip it hard and make a lot of tight little circles to get the ink flowing.
Frankly, I was a bit surprised at how pissed the hooker got when

Frankly, I was a bit surprised at how pissed the hooker got when I asked her for the WhorFax.
I hate it when my Ruminations get demoted to the lesser-read

I hate it when my Ruminations get demoted to the lesser-read filthy list just because at the very end some chick gets titty-fucked.
The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot

The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot more fun when I took this position testing 12-inch, 7-levelsof-intensity, hydraulic vibrators.
I think that what really separates women from men is the

I think that what really separates women from men is the unhampered ability to spend all day looking down at a pair of tits.
I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento

I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento.”
Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to

Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to send her to the Convention Center beat and pimp her out really cheap.
Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in

Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in the midget for free.
I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my

I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my toilet bowl suggests I’m more of a “putrid orangish yellow.”