What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I awoke all sticky after falling asleep on the set of an animal
I awoke all sticky after falling asleep on the set of an animal porn film. It’s something I don’t normally do
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“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better
“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because
I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because she and her husband have an arrangement: I come over every Monday night and have sex with her so he can watch the game.
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Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford
Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford to buy shorts that fit or shirts that aren’t ripped — or even soap to wash off the skank every night when they’re done.
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I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close,
I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
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When I told my wife I was interested in a threesome, she said
When I told my wife I was interested in a threesome, she said she “didn’t know what to do with that information.” Okay, Honey, let me help: Tell your hairdresser we want to fuck her seven ways to Sunday.
