I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary was looking for regarding her new cell phone.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
A fart is a wish your turd makes
A fart is a wish your turd makes.
-
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,”
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,” but it’s been a week now and my wife still hasn’t gotten her hearing back.
-
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
-
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
-
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
-
I awoke all sticky after falling asleep on the set of an animal
I awoke all sticky after falling asleep on the set of an animal porn film. It’s something I don’t normally do
-
“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better
“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.
-
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
-
I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because
I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because she and her husband have an arrangement: I come over every Monday night and have sex with her so he can watch the game.
