I asked the cashier “Could you give me small change instead of bills? I need money for the bus.”
She said “That’s fare”
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Only Food That Can Make You Cry
My cousin was going on and on about how an onion is the only food that can make you cry without eating it. So I hit him in the face with a coconut.
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Dog Ate a Bag of Scrabble Tiles
My dog ate an entire bag of scrabble tiles, so I had to take him to the vet.
No word yet.
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Date Who Drills Holes
My date told me she spends all her free time drilling holes.
I said, “Well… that’s boring.”
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Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick — A Perfect Match
Did you hear about the two gay Irish men? They are a perfect match.
Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick.
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Secret Gopher Colony Had a Mole
Did you hear a secret colony of gophers was discovered recently?
They say there was a mole among them. -
Make Up Your Mind
I recently had someone tell me to stop being an idiot and to be myself.
I told them to make up their mind.
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Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
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My Cousin Walter’s Pet Problem
A few months ago, my cousin Walter showed up at the emergency room with a cat lodged in his ass.
The family decided to write it off as a freak accident and agreed never to mention it again.
But a few days later, he was back in the hospital! Different cat. Same ass.
So yesterday, when I saw Walter at the pet store in the mall trying to buy another cat, I stopped him and said:
“Walter, every cat you buy ends up stuck in your ass. At this point, you have to admit the cats aren’t the problem.”
Walter sighed and replied:
“Okay, genius. How the hell do you suggest I get the gerbil out?”
