Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Did you know that everything in the dictionary starts with “E”?

    Did you know that everything in the dictionary starts with “E”?

  • Going to a Child Psychologist

    I used to go to a child psychologist. That kid did nothing for me.

  • The Movie About a Fish at a Cardboard Company

    Have you seen the movie about the fish that works at the cardboard company?

    Unfortunately, it flopped at the box office.

  • A Walk Past The Restaurant

    A Scotsman and his wife are walking past a restaurant. The wife says, “Did you smell that food? It smells absolutely incredible!”

    The Scotsman thinks, “What the hell, it is her birthday.”

    So they walked past it again.

  • Three Women At The Gynecologist

    Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “What was that?” the others asked her.

    “Oh, it was Vitamin C. I want my baby to be healthy.”

    A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

    “What was that?” the others asked.

    “Oh, it was iron. I want my baby to be big and strong.”

    They continued knitting. Finally, the third woman took a pill.

    “What was that?” the others asked her.

    “It was thalidomide,” she said. “I just can’t get the arms right on this fucking sweater!”

  • Three Pregnant Women

    A pregnant blonde, a pregnant brunette, and a pregnant redhead were in the waiting room of an obstetrician’s office.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The redhead said, “When my baby was conceived, I was on top, so I know I’m going to have a girl.”

    The brunette said, “When my baby was conceived, my husband was on top, so I know I’m going to have a boy.”

    The blonde burst into tears. When the other two asked her what’s wrong, she wailed, “I think I’m going to have puppies!”

  • Three Disappointed Mothers

    Three mothers, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, are talking about how disappointed they are in their daughters.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The redheaded mom says, “I found whiskey in my daughter’s room, and I didn’t even know she drank.”

    The brunette mom says, “I found marijuana in my daughter’s room, and I didn’t even know she did drugs.”

    The blonde mom says, “I found condoms in my daughter’s room, and I didn’t even know she had a dick!”

  • Three Captured Spies

    A Russian spy, an American spy, and an Italian spy were captured by a terrorist organization and kept in the same cell.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The terrorists first dragged out the American spy, tied him to a chair, and started asking him questions about the nation’s secrets, codes, and plans. The American refused, but after two continuous hours of brutal torture, he finally gave up and gave them everything he had.

    They then picked up the Russian and again asked him for his country’s confidential information. The Russian refused. After five continuous hours of gory, sick, and disturbing torture, even the Russian gave up and gave them everything he had.

    Then they moved onto the Italian. After eight hours of bloody, indescribable torture, the Italian hadn’t said a word. The terrorists grew tired and left the three to rot together.

    The American turned to the Italian and asked, “Hey, Luigi! What the hell was that? Do you not feel pain?”

    The Russian was also shocked. “Comrade! How in the world did you endure that!”

    The Italian, with tears rolling down his face, replied, “I wanted to talk, but my hands were tied.”

  • Three Men At The Pub

    An American, a Mexican, and an Australian walk into a pub.

    The Mexican says, “I’ll have a Corona. The finest beer of Mexico.”

    The American says, “I’ll have a Budweiser. The king of beers.”

    The Australian says, “I’ll have a ginger ale.”

    “A ginger ale?” the American asks quizzically.

    The Australian replies, “Well, if you two aren’t going to have a proper beer, why should I?”

  • The Jacket On The Golf Course

    Two guys were playing a round of golf. As they finished one hole and headed for the next, one of them realized he’d left his jacket back at the previous one.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Hang on a sec,” he said to his buddy. “I’ll just run back and get it.”

    As he approached the previous hole, he noticed two women about to tee off. Suddenly, he stopped, turned around, and headed back toward where his buddy was waiting.

    “Holy hell! That could have been awkward! That was my wife and mistress back there!”

    “Good Lord!” says his buddy. “That could have ended badly! No problem, I’ll run back and get it for you.”

    Like the first guy, he got halfway to the previous tee, turned around, and headed back.

    Reaching his buddy, he looked somewhat flustered and said, “Small world, isn’t it?”