Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Before and After Marriage

    Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.

    After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.

  • The impotent couldn’t come

    We recently opened a shelter for the poor, needy, and the impotent.

    The poor and needy showed up, but the impotent couldn’t come.

  • Now I want to break three

    I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
    Now I want to break three.

  • Aren’t going to work out

    I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up…
    Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.

  • Under a buck

    What’s the difference between a beer nut and a deer nut?
    A bowl of beer nuts is about $1.80, but you can always find a deer nut under a buck.

  • It’s pasture bedtime

    I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.”

    Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

    I chuckled, “Well, that means…”
    “It’s pasture bedtime!”

  • Harvard Sweatshirts and Embarrassing Checkups!

    Some questions are better left unasked.

    A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red “H” on her chest.

    “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.

    “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard, and he’s so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest.

    “How did you get that mark on your chest?” the doctor asks.

    “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale, and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest.

    “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.

    She replies, “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin.”

    “Why do you ask?”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • A ceiling rafter

    I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today…

    It turns out he was a ceiling rafter.

  • Sir Cumference

    Everyone is familiar with King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table, like Sir Lancelot. But who actually built the round table?

    Sir Cumference.

  • Comparing apples to oranges

    Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump…

    But that’s comparing apples to oranges.