Unfortunately, I showed up late to the kleptomaniacs’ conference.
Needless to say, all of the seats were already taken.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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All of the seats were already taken
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All the digging
What’s the worst thing about having sex in a cemetery?
All the digging.
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She gave me permission
My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes.
I think it was pretty cool of her to give me permission.
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I stand corrected
I thought physical therapy was a big scam until I finally went to one for my lower back.
I stand corrected.
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Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball
What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Land Rover?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.
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That’s 15-love
My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”
I replied, “That’s 15-love.”
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Stop pretending that I cared
My wife stopped pretending to have orgasms years ago. That’s all right with me, though, because it allowed me to stop pretending that I cared.
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Help me out here
It’s really cool when you and your girlfriend finish each other’s sentences. It sucks, though, when you break up and discover you’re no longer capable of speaking in complete… uh… help me out here…
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Inspect Her Gadget
I’m starting a vibrator repair service.
I’m calling it “Inspect Her Gadget.”
