Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher was going through a list of words to have each student use in a sentence.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I didn’t think it hurt that much
I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
“Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.” -
Those are just contractions
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.” -
He gave me a blank stair
When I told my contractor that I didn’t want any carpeted steps, he just gave me a blank stair.
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Toast the bride and groom
Two slices of bread got married.
The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom. -
Now they have cameras everywhere
When I was young, you could go to the grocery store with two dollars in your pocket and come out with a loaf of bread, two dozen eggs, and a pound of butter.
Now, they have cameras everywhere. -
I turned a few heads
I walked down the street dressed as a screwdriver.
I turned a few heads. -
How do you know it was on its way to work?
I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, “How do you know it was on its way to work?”
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Authorities just found Himalayan there
Did you hear about the guy who collapsed trying to climb Mount Everest?
Authorities just found Himalayan there. -
She slowly came around
Last night at the airport, there was a woman totally passed out on the baggage carousel.
She slowly came around.
