Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A guy went to a supermarket to buy 2 tomatoes.
At the checkout, the clerk said, “That’ll be $20.”
The guy was upset. “Two tomatoes for $20? Are you out of your mind?!”
The clerk said, “That’s the price, you want them or not?”
The guy said, “I don’t want them, and you know what you can do with them?”
The clerk said, “I can’t, there’s already a $10 cucumber there.”
A small-town cop pulls over a guy speeding down Main Street.
“Sir, I can expla—”
“Save it!” barks the officer. “You’re going to jail. You can explain it to the chief when he gets back!”
“But really, I just want to sa—”
“I said ZIP IT! You can cool off in a cell until then.”
Hours pass. The cop swings by the holding cell and smirks, “You’re lucky the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a great mood when he gets back.”
The guy grimaces…
“Yeah… don’t count on it. I’m the groom.”
Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?
At a pawn shop.
A lawyer goes to heaven.
St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates. The lawyer is impressed, but asks, “Are you sure it is my time? I’m not that old?”
St. Peter says, “What do you mean? You’re 86 years old.”
The lawyer says, “No I’m not… I’m only 58. Why do you think I’m that old!”
St. Peter says, “Well, we just added up all of the hours you’ve billed to your clients.”
I left my car unattended with my accordion on view in the front passenger seat. When I got back, someone had broken into my car
and left another accordion.
I went to the zoo last week. The first exhibit was a ciabatta, the second a baguette, and the third a brioche.
They were all bread in captivity.
My kids refused to eat leftover tacos for dinner, so my wife told me to just throw them out.
Now I don’t know what to do with all the extra tacos.
