Format: short form

Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for

She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for her Bada-bung next time.
Note to self: Don’t make a move unless you’ve heard the whole

Note to self: Don’t make a move unless you’ve heard the whole sentence. Imagine my embarrassment when everyone started shouting at me that she wasn’t inviting me to kiss her under the camel toe.
A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue

A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.
I have plenty of financial help to give to my ex. None of it

I have plenty of financial help to give to my ex. None of it involves another fucking dime of my own money, though.
“I ORDERED SAMOAS, YOU FUCKING TWAT!” I screamed, hurling the

“I ORDERED SAMOAS, YOU FUCKING TWAT!” I screamed, hurling the box of Caramel deLites at the Girl Scout’s face. Oddly, everyone was on HER side.
Whenever someone with Alzheimer’s tries to apologize to me, I

Whenever someone with Alzheimer’s tries to apologize to me, I tell them to just forget about it.
I don’t understand people who get all upset about people pissing

I don’t understand people who get all upset about people pissing in the shower. That said, shitting in the shower is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.
Dogs need more clothes. Everybody knows dogs love wearing

Dogs need more clothes. Everybody knows dogs love wearing clothes. Buy more fucking clothes for your dog.
Wait, the 70s are over? Shit, I’m REALLY late for high school.

Wait, the 70s are over? Shit, I’m REALLY late for high school. Like 36 years late. I’m gonna need a note.
I’ve championed a lot of great Twitter accounts with only a few

I’ve championed a lot of great Twitter accounts with only a few followers and watched as they grew and surpassed my own, some by thousands. Assholes.