Format: short form

Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Other words and phrases

    I bought a pen that can write under water…
    It can also write other words and phrases.

  • Stress Relief

    Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help.

    She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night.

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  • I had to put my foot down

    My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo…
    I had to put my foot down.

  • The Top 17 Tweets From President Trump

    17. Winning! Winners win. And I’m a winner who wins, believe me. #ohfucknowwhatdoido

    16. My huuuge hands typing this from the Oval Office! #HowYouLikeMeNowHillary

    15. Nobody told me the White House was such a dump. Not a single gold toilet. Sad. #3rdWorld

    14. Why do they call it the White House when the kitchen is full of Hispanics? #TrumpHouse

    13. @SCOTUS You’re Fired! #TreatGovernmentLikeBusiness

    12. #100days: abolish Obamacare, export all illegal immigrants, mount Paul Ryan’s balls in the Oval Office #sweetrevenge

    11. @PutinRF_Eng Lincoln bedroom stocked with #Stoli; waiting for your arrival #USARUS

    10. White House? Not on my watch. 2,600 gallons of gold gilt paint on the way! #Glitterpalooza #BlingHouse

    9. Note to self: thank Kellyanne Conway, notify her she won’t be paid.

    8. Just sold Washington Monument to China #suckers #shippingisextra

    7. Got the nuclear codes, so excited: 398236. #watchoutisis #makeamericaglowagain

    6. Melania looks stunning lying naked on the Oval Office’s new polar bear-skin rug, trust me. #MakingAmericaBoneAgain #Bigly

    5. WTF? Canada’s Prime Minister keeps calling, saying USA needs to pay for his wall.

    4. WH needs new housekeepers. @AliciaMachado, job is yours if you can drop 20 lbs!

    3. Just sent my homey @Comey a thank you gift: orange jumpsuit for @Hillary. #orangeisthenewpantsuit

    2. That Lincoln bedroom is SO uncomfortable. No wonder he shot himself. #HoleInTheHead #LumpyMattress

    1. First official act: Lady Liberty loses the burka, shows some leg, gets bigger tits #StatueOfLame #6atBest

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  • Nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me

    I shot the sheriff and the deputy.
    Now there’s nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me from being together!

  • Try again, Einstein

    Day after day, the same guy keeps taking my favorite parking space at work, so I keep keying the sides of his car. And each morning, he shows up again with it painted a new color and with a different license plate, just to confuse me. Ha! Try again, Einstein!

  • Cold Calls

    Someone just called my phone and sneezed, coughed, and then hung up.

    I’m getting sick of these cold calls.

  • Taco Bell

    Two guys are arguing about whether Taco Bell should be considered Mexican food.

    At least they both agree that it is Mexican.

  • The Deer

    I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me…

    “How do you know it was on its way to work?”

  • Bulldozer

    My wife is learning how to operate a bulldozer.

    I’m not going to stand in her way.