Did you know that if your dog is running a fever, you’re supposed to give them ketchup?
Apparently it’s perfect for fixing a hot dog!
Joke Type: bait and switch
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The Two Kids in the Hospital
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”
The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”
The first kid says, “A circumcision.”
The second kid says, “Whoa, good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born… Couldn’t walk for a year.”
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Pillsbury Funerals Cremation Services
Nothing says lovin’ like something warm from the oven lol…. Woohoo
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Little Johnny at the Rodeo
Little Johnny went to his first rodeo with his mum and dad…
Dad went off to buy a beer, and little Johnny happened to spy the bull’s cock flopping around beneath his belly.
“Mummy, mummy! What’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly!?” Johnny asks, pointing.
Embarrassed, his mum looks away and mutters, “Oh, don’t worry about that, Johnny. That’s nothing.”
Dad comes back and mum goes off to use the washroom.
Once mummy is gone, Little Johnny asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly?”
“That’s the bull’s cock, son,” his dad answers. “He uses it to mount and make love to a cow.”
“But mummy said it was nothing!” Johnny replied.
Dad leans back with his hand behind his head and takes a sip of his beer.
“Son… I’ve spoiled that woman…”
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The Hearing Aids and the Will
An elderly gentleman had suffered from serious hearing problems for years.
He finally went to a doctor and was fitted with a set of excellent hearing aids.
A month later, he returned for a checkup.
The doctor smiled and said, “Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be thrilled that you can hear again.”
The old man replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit there quietly and listen to their conversations.”
He smiled and added, “I’ve changed my will three times already.”
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One Word or Spread Apart
Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?
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All of the Letters I Had Hidden
My wife accused me of cheating after she found all of the letters I had hidden.
Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.
