Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

My friends were all impressed with my devotion to CNN until they

My friends were all impressed with my devotion to CNN until they found out that for me it stands for “Cum-‘N’-Nap.”
I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and

I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and insistence of my scout master, the product is not named “KY-In-Tents”; 2) The experience is nothing like what they lead you to believe from those commercials.
Turns out I didn’t desperately need a nap after all; I just

Turns out I didn’t desperately need a nap after all; I just needed an orgasm. My apologies again to the other patrons of Costco’s bedding department.
I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say

I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say “Bieber,” I mean “bagina.”
Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and

Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and they fuck your brains out in the backseat.
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to

Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
Somebody once wrote, “Quality questions create a quality life,”

Somebody once wrote, “Quality questions create a quality life,” but my quality question to women I bump into at the mall, “Do you want to have sex with me?” usually results in a restraining order.
One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in

One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in the supply room, tearing off each others’ clothes. I guess it was just the sperm of the moment.
I should have known that the way I learned to “dissemenate”

I should have known that the way I learned to “dissemenate” information at the porn conference wouldn’t work at the PTA meeting.
I really hate people who give TMI. I hate them more than all the

I really hate people who give TMI. I hate them more than all the bloody underwear I’ve throw in the trash on account of my oozing hemorrhoids.