These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous
WE’VE WAITED 458 DAYS FOR THIS MOMENT
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous
WE’VE WAITED 458 DAYS FOR THIS MOMENT

When your girlfriend invites you over to “eat her pussy” but then she starts stripping her clothes off instead of cooking her cat
*cries in ching chong*
I scared the mailman yesterday by going to the door completely naked…
I’m not sure what freaked him out more… my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
My boss is like a fine wine. All I want to do is drive a corkscrew into him but my co-workers keep saying, “Not yet, let’s wait for a special occasion.”
Continental drift is no mere theory; it is fact. Forget about trying to fit Africa and South America together — just look at how Spain’s jagged western border fits Portugal’s jagged eastern border like a glove. Coincidence? Please.
I really enjoy taking out the trash from my new home. It’s hard to explain, but walking the trash to the curb the night before trash day really makes me feel like a homeowner. Especially now that I’ve taken out the bodies of the previous owners.
After getting sent to jail, I was immediately held down over a table and violently assaulted.
Uncle Brian takes Monopoly very seriously….
Carrots are good for your memory.
Get one shoved in your ass and you won’t forget it.
Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I’m not joking, but he is.