She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but she’s not the one with mustard burns on her pecker.
Joke Type: bait and switch
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make
My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make our sex lives more exciting, so I asked her how many other guys she planned on having sex with while she’s married to me. Her reply: “Retroactively, or from this point forward?”
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My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I
My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I stuck a ball gag in her mouth and thoroughly spanked her ass. Turns out she just wanted a hot young rich guy.
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You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t
You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t even in the room!
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“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in
“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
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Not What It Looks Like
So a girl walks in and catches her boyfriend masturbating to an optical illusion. “What the hell are you doing?” she screams.
And he says, “Honey, it’s not what it looks like.”
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Human DNA + Goat DNA
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
You get kicked out of the petting zoo!
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Nine Volt Battery
What’s the difference between a nine-volt battery and a butthole?
Everyone knows not to stick their tongue on a nine-volt battery.
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Cockatoo
Do you happen to own a parrot?
‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.
