Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

I was crushed when I wasn’t voted prom queen in high school, but

I was crushed when I wasn’t voted prom queen in high school, but I’ve since redeemed myself by being chosen blowjob queen of my trailer court.
I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my

I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my collection of giant roosters and stolen cats. But for some strange reason, the principal called me and told me to keep my huge cocks and hot pussies at home.
Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you

Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you thinking about right now?” RIGHT answer: “Not much. just how much I love you.” CORRECT answer: “How much I love you giving it to Taylor Swift with a Hello Kitty strap-on in a kiddie pool full of tapioca pudding in my fantasies.”
My friends were all impressed with my devotion to CNN until they

My friends were all impressed with my devotion to CNN until they found out that for me it stands for “Cum-‘N’-Nap.”
I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and

I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and insistence of my scout master, the product is not named “KY-In-Tents”; 2) The experience is nothing like what they lead you to believe from those commercials.
Turns out I didn’t desperately need a nap after all; I just

Turns out I didn’t desperately need a nap after all; I just needed an orgasm. My apologies again to the other patrons of Costco’s bedding department.
I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say

I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say “Bieber,” I mean “bagina.”
Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and

Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and they fuck your brains out in the backseat.
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to

Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
Somebody once wrote, “Quality questions create a quality life,”

Somebody once wrote, “Quality questions create a quality life,” but my quality question to women I bump into at the mall, “Do you want to have sex with me?” usually results in a restraining order.