DURING THIS PROSTATE EXAM, PLEASE TRY NOT TO GET AN ERECTION, DAVE
MY NAME IS STEVE
YEAH I KNOW…
MY NAME IS DAVE
SLIPSHOD SQUIGGLES
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
I shot the sheriff and the deputy.
Now there’s nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me from being together!
Someone just called my phone and sneezed, coughed, and then hung up.
I’m getting sick of these cold calls.
I was told I could look at the eclipse through a colander.
I tried it, but it strained my eyes.
Two guys are arguing about whether Taco Bell should be considered Mexican food.
At least they both agree that it is Mexican.
They say make-up sex is the best, which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.
I just found out that cockfighting is done with chickens. That’s two years of training I’ll never get back.
My wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits.
I told her that I find big tits on babies disturbing.
Just found a really old porno on VHS, called Head Cleaner.
Sounds hot.