Love is… Finishing each other’s sentences.
Joke Type: dark humor
Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Mothers Day Lowest Crime
Fin @gofinurself
My mom is a prosecutor and every year she brings up the fact that Mother’s Day is the day with the lowest crime. I think that says a lot about how many moms commit crimes throughout the year, but can’t today because they’re too busy being celebrated.
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Dark Side of the Force
Meth user fights off 15 police officers ‘while masturbating in bar’
Metro News Reporter Tuesday 31 Dec 2013
The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
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Abortion Is a Difficult Topic
What is your opinion on abortion?
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On the one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
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Minty Fresh Brains
I’ve made provisions in my will to be buried with a roll of breath mints. I figure if I should somehow become part of a zombie army roaming the earth, I may want something minty fresh to take the taste of brains out of my mouth.
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The Rabbi’s Advice
A guy goes to his rabbi to ask his advice.
“Rabbi, I have a court case next week. What should I wear? Should I wear shabby clothes and hope the judge has pity on me, or should I wear my best suit, give some money to the judge and say, ‘You look after me and I’ll look after you’?”
“Well, my son. You remember how my daughter got married only last week? So, the night before, she came to me with a question: ‘What should I wear that night? The short, see-through negligee my sister gave me, or the long thick nightie mother gave me?’”
“And the answer I gave her is the answer I give you: It doesn’t matter what you wear — you’re going to get fucked.”
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Deaf Kid Orgy
Me and the boys: *putting up random hand gang signs in class*
The deaf kid wondering why we’re planning an orgy with the class pet:
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Prostate Exam
Dr: you need to stop masturbating
Me: for how long?
Dr: at least until I finish your prostate exam
Me: fair enough
