Dialogue jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
A daughter calls her mother & says “I’m divorcing Nathan. All he wants is 6ex, 6ex and more 6ex. My v@gina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece.”
Her mother says: “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman! You live in an 8-bedroom mansion! You drive a $250,000 Ferrari! You get $2,000 a week allowance! You take 6 vacations a year! … and, You want to throw all that away over 45 cents?”
Two Jews are walking down the street when they come upon a Christian church with a sign: “Come in! Convert to Christianity and receive $100!”
One Jew says to the other, “I’m going in to see if getting $100 is this easy!”
When he returns, he’s wearing a necklace with a cross. His friend points at the cross and says, “What’s that? Did you really convert?!”
“Yes, I did. I’m now Christian.”
“Well, did you get the $100?”
“Is that all you people think about?”
Her: That thing is broken, it has stopped sucking.
Him: It must have gotten married.
Dr: you need to stop masturbating
Me: for how long?
Dr: at least until I finish your prostate exam
Me: fair enough
Her: My lips are so dry
Him: Doesn’t that hurt when you walk?
Her: What?
Him: What?
