Grabbed something off the candy rack buying just condoms. In retrospect, Gobstoppers wasn’t the best choice.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Killing It on Harmonica
me: [absolutely killing it on harmonica]
taco bell cashier: are you gonna order
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Fuck the Lot of You
Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night
I’m going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.
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Indestructible Walls Kool-Aid
fishy @fishbowel
Me: I love my new indestructible walls I just wish I had some kool-aid
*audible thud outside house*
Me: what was that
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A Very COVID Christmas
The Alex Nevil @TheAlexNevil
Looking forward to Hallmark’s holiday offering “A Very COVID Christmas,” when a big city lawyer and a country candle maker accidentally meet when they go to the wrong zoom meeting.
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One Hell of an Outdoorsman
A guy goes in for a physical; the doctor asks about his activity level. “What do you mean?” asks the guy.
The doctor says, “Well, for example, what did you do yesterday?”
The guy says, “Yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk, about seven miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and in my eyes. I jumped three feet in the air when I almost stepped on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills and hacked my way through some tall grass. After that I was so exhausted and dehydrated, I drank eight beers.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor says, “Sounds like you are one hell of an outdoorsman!”
And the guy says, “Actually, I’m just a really shitty golfer.”
