Joke Type: observational

Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Marijuana Legalized South

    Marijuana Legalized South

    The day after marijuana is legalized in the South.

  • Firefighter McBurney

    Firefighter McBurney

    There’s no such thing as a perfect name for a firefigh…..

    Lieutenant Les McBurney Sun Prairie Fire Department

  • What Sound Does a Pig Make

    A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Mary put her hand up and said “Moooo!”

    “Very good” replied the teacher, “what sound do sheep make?”

    “Maaaa” answered Johnny.

    She continued this for a while. Then she asked “What sound does a pig make?”

    All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at the back of the class. He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed “Up against the wall mutha-fucka!!”

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  • Bidet Amazon

    Bidet Amazon

    WHEN YOUR BIDET FINALLY ARRIVES FROM AMAZON*

  • Disney Or Jerry Springer

    Disney Or Jerry Springer

    When someone asks about your family and you’re trying to decide if you should tell them the Disney or Jerry Springer version.

    Crystallowerycomedy on fb

  • Hold Her Steals

    Hold Her Steals

    When you have to hold her like this at night because she steals

    @whitepeoplehumor

  • Tooth Fairy Wood Coins

    Tooth Fairy Wood Coins

    Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix

    Child: The Tooth Fairy left me three dollars!

    Me: When I was a kid the Tooth Fairy would leave us coins.

    Child: Were they made of wood?

    Me:

    Child:

    Me: The Tooth Fairy isn’t real.

    5:36 AM · 7/26/20 · Twitter for iPad

  • Bacon Roses

    Bacon Roses

    BACON ROSES

    She wants romance, you want a snack. Problem Solved.

  • I Feel Like a Baby

    Tim, Joe and Steve, life long friends, were down at the local tavern having a beer celebrating Steve’s 80th birthday.

    Steve grabbed his shoulder and said, “You know, I’m 80 and I can feel the aches and pains of my age.”

    Tim agreed, saying he can tell rain is coming by the aches in his knees.

    Joe shook his head. “Guys,” he said. “I feel like a baby.”

    Tim and Steve looked at each other, puzzled.

    Joey took a sip of beer and smiled. “I got no hair, no teeth and I pee my pants a lot!”

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  • Family Racist

    Family Racist

    SADLY LEARNED MY FAMILY WAS RACIST. I DATED A BLACK GIRL AND BROUGHT HER HOME TO MEET THE THEM.

    MY WIFE AND KIDS WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO HER.