Reasons for fist-pumping “YES!”
Before kids: Open bar.
After kids: Other child’s mom volunteers to drive both ways.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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People Are Shocked by Ryan Lochte and Company
Weird how people are acting shocked by Ryan Lochte and company acting like idiots, as if they never met any jocks in high school.
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My Dad Trying to Remember a Baseball Player
“Whatever happened to that guy who isn’t there anymore?” My dad, trying to remember the name of a baseball player.
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Digital Copies of Mad Magazine
I got a bunch of digital copies of Mad Magazine, and I’ve gone through 3 iPads and an iPhone so far trying to do the fold-in on the back cover.
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Paying for a Lap Dance
I wouldn’t have paid that much for a lap dance if I’d known she was going to do the Chicken Dance.
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I’d Rather Watch a Video of My Conception
I think I’d rather watch a video of my conception than watch another debate.
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My Son Has to Wear a Tuxedo for the School Band’s Holiday Concert
My son said he’s required to wear a tuxedo for the school band’s holiday concert. Now I have to buy him black yoga pants and one of those tuxedo T-shirts.
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I’m Not Going to Take This Sitting Down
Honestly, I cannot think of a situation where I’d say, “I’m not going to take this sitting down!” Sitting down is awesome.
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My Amazon Wish List
I added a cello to my Amazon wish list, rich members of my fan club. I also added a home electrolysis system. The cello is cheaper.
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Call Me Hypersensitive
Call me hypersensitive, but I don’t like it when people try to make my cowlick stay down with their spit.
