Joke Type: observational

Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Hyperbole

    While the Super Bowl has about seventy thousand attendees each year, the hyperbole has at least a bajillion.

  • Americans Right About Miles

    Americans Right About Miles

    Water ← 1 mile

    Water 1 kilometer →

    Americans 2 Sep at 12:05

    But the Americans are right. A mile is less then a kilometre. (1 mile = 1,6 Kilometre)

    boredpanda.com

  • Elephant Wisdom

    Why are elephants so wise?

    It comes with getting long in the tooth.

  • The Genie’s Wish

    A father, mother and child are sitting down to dinner. The boy sees a strange-looking lamp in the middle of the table. He reaches over and rubs the side of it playfully.

    A genie appears suddenly. The boy asks, “Are you a genie like in Aladdin?”

    “I can grant each of you one wish. You can choose one thing and you will have a lifetime supply. You just go to where that thing is, show me, and voilà! It’s yours for life.”

    The mom runs to the car excited and says, “I want a lifetime supply of wine!” The boy screams, “I want a lifetime supply of candy!” The mom then realizes the dad is pulling out in their other car. The mom yells, “Where are you going?”

    The dad yells back, “The strip club!”

  • Dentist You Were There!

    Dentist You Were There!

    Dentist: When was the last time you flossed?

    Me: Bro, you were THERE.

  • Jesus Is Bigger Than COVID-19

    Jesus Is Bigger Than COVID-19

    Radio Star

    Video

    JESUS Is Bigger Than tOVID-19

    JESUS Is Bigger Than OVID-19

  • Happy Meal for Grown Ups

    Happy Meal for Grown Ups

    IF THEY MADE A HAPPY MEAL

    BAREFOOT SWEET RED CALIFORNIA RED WINE BLEND

    Babybel

    GHIRARDELLI INTENSE DARK SEA SALT SOIREE ALMOND

    FOR GROWN UPS.

  • This Is Adulthood

    This Is Adulthood

    This is adulthood

    lower back MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME

  • Please Don’t Be Cracked

    Please Don’t Be Cracked

    *drops phone*

    “please don’t be cracked”

    the phone:

  • Steal the Declaration of Independence

    Steal the Declaration of Independence

    We can steal your man

    @lordflaconegro

    Shawty in the back look like she gonna steal the Declaration of Independence