Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I

I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I should probably be able to tell the difference between fucking and acupuncture.
Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs”

Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs” had something to do with their size — until I heard the rumbling noises that often emanate from near the tops of them.
I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband,

I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband, then lift my leg and pee on him.
If I wrote Star Trek, the Prime Directive would be “Face down,

If I wrote Star Trek, the Prime Directive would be “Face down, ass up.” Maybe that’s why I don’t do well with Trekkers.
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only

I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only because he’s probably heard it his entire life and I don’t want him to feel bad.
Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that

Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that I’m with another woman. Then again, so does she.
Finishing up my letter to the Penthouse Forum. Which has a

Finishing up my letter to the Penthouse Forum. Which has a better ring, “puss-stache” or “veard?”
(Marco C.) Got through a whole evening out without any

(Marco C.) Got through a whole evening out without any inappropriate boners. I just hope I’m ready next time a boner is appropriate.
I’ve never understood the phrase “just for shits and giggles”

I’ve never understood the phrase “just for shits and giggles” because the two have always been mutually exclusive for me.
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me

I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me saying, “Not to be taken orally.”