One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Surprise Countdown: The Ultimate Plot Twist!

If I ever blow up a building, I’m going to wire the bomb so that it goes off with 10 seconds still showing on the timer.

Won’t that guy with the wire cutters be surprised!

I prefer dead baby jokes, they just never get old.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.

Wife: There are four men attacking my mother in the street! Aren’t you going to help!

Husband: Why? Four should be enough.

A jealous husband to his wife: “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”

Wife: “I suppose. I would just need to figure out a way to come up with that kind of money.”

But I refused because if I’m gonna have sex on a car, it’s going to be on my own Accord

She told me, “This is the biggest dick I’ve ever come across.”

I said, “No, you are just pulling my leg.”

His lips are moving!

They should be changed often….. and for the exact same reason.

The letter ‘f’.