Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car’s gas tank and tires…
She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, “Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!”
I responded, “Inflation.”
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…
…except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.
Did you hear about the arrogant cannibal who started eating his own arms and legs?
He was so full of himself.
I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I grumbled, “Don’t call me son. You’re not my dad.”
He scratched his head. “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”
After my meeting, I got back on the elevator to go back down and the same operator was there.
I didn’t say anything to him, but when we got to the ground floor, he said to me, “I’m sorry.”
“Because you thought you were my dad?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “No, son, because I let you down.”
Where did the Helsinki marathon end?
At the Finnish line.
Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!
I started a business making yachts in the attic.
Sails are going through the roof.
