ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Muggy Out Today Sips Coffee From Bowl
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He Was 0K
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.
It turns out that he was 0K.
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Too Many Probing Questions
Why do aliens make such bad therapists?
They ask too many probing questions.
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Had to Pop the Trunk
I won a balloon elephant at the fair and it wouldn’t fit in the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk.
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Only Have a Croc Pot
I was going to cook alligator for dinner…
But then I realized I only have a croc pot.
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Adam and the Cost of a Mate
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, “You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I’m alone. Can you create me one also?”
God replied, “Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always, and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.”
Adam thought for a second and said, “That’s a bit steep, what can I get for a rib?”
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I Have Never Been a Mourning Person
I have a friend who passed away recently and they are having the funeral at 7am. I’ve decided not to go… I have never been a mourning person.
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He Takes Things Personally
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally!
