My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
If I ever get cast for a reality show, I’m going to dub myself
If I ever get cast for a reality show, I’m going to dub myself “The Predicament,” because I bring that added element of suspenseful mischief. Plus, much like Snooki, it has a “dic” in it.
-
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.
-
There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick
There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick to the crotch, there will be no more sperm in “eye.”
-
I’m going to get a dog and name it MyRack. Then I can walk
I’m going to get a dog and name it MyRack. Then I can walk around the neighborhood yelling, “Has anyone seen MyRack?” and see which guys dare to answer.
-
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
-
One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in
One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in the supply room, tearing off each others’ clothes. I guess it was just the sperm of the moment.
-
What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down
What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down in the anals of history.
-
Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the
Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the Royal Wooding!
-
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my Cap’n Crunch vibrator.
