Joke Type: pun

Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • No Place to Park

    I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants…

    …but I had to quit. There was no place to park.

  • Tough Shit

    A constipated man goes to the pharmacy for laxatives.

    Man: “One box of laxatives, please?”

    Pharmacist: “I’m sorry. We’re all out of stock.”

    Man: “What, again?! How does this keep happening?! I’m desperate for some relief!”

    Pharmacist: “Well, that’s tough shit, I’m afraid.”

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  • Cut My Leash Into Pieces

    Cut My Leash Into Pieces

    Cut my leash into pieces

    This is my bestest bork

    Domestication

    No Breeding

    Cant give a heck

    Cause they neutered my weenie

  • Pick It Up Along the Way

    Do you have to have any special training to be a garbage man, or do you just pick it up along the way?

  • Working Tirelessly

    Working Tirelessly

    WANTED: A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars.

    Police are working tirelessly to catch him.

  • An Edison

    What do you call a stolen Tesla?

    An Edison.

  • The Difference Is Staggering

    It takes me 5 minutes to walk from my home to the bar, but 20 minutes to walk from the bar back to my home.

    The difference is staggering.

  • Refuse to Work Sundaes

    I quit my job at the ice cream factory.

    I refuse to work sundaes.

  • Soft Tissue Damage

    I just had a stack of toilet paper rolls fall on me in the supermarket.

    It’s OK, though. Just some soft tissue damage.

  • Mucho

    I try to say ‘mucho’ when I am around my Hispanic friends.

    It means a lot to them.