Joke Type: pun

Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Moo-spaper

    How do cows stay up to date?

    They read the moo-spaper.

  • Strongest Days

    Which days are the strongest?

    Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

  • In a Nutshell

    Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

    In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

  • They Were Wright

    About a hundred years ago a couple brothers said they could fly.

    They were Wright.

  • Violins

    Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?

    It’s because of all the violins.

  • Eaton / Dayton

    I was datin’ this girl from Eaton.

    Or maybe it was the other way around and she was from Dayton.

  • The Steaks Are Too High

    A guy walks into a bar and sees three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, “What’s up with the pieces of meat?”

    The barman replies, “If you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks all night, but if you miss, you pay the whole bar’s tab.”

    The man considers the challenge carefully and replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”

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  • Short Staffed

    I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.

    In their defense, they’re short staffed.

  • Short Staffed

    I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.

    In their defense, they’re short staffed.

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  • Dentist Impressions

    I was at the dentist this afternoon for some impressions.

    He does a good Johnny Carson but his Frank Sinatra is terrible.