When I take a shit on a Tuesday I call it doing a Number Tue. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all weak.
Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me.
My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me. She says she enjoyed the experience, but I think she was just blowing smoke up my ass.
-
Gotta Hand It to Her
My blind doctor is incredible at solving erectile dysfunctions.
Gotta hand it to her.
-
Sweet Car Online
I just heard that Neil Diamond has sold his car on eBay…
It’s a sweet car online.
-
Wrong on So Many Levels
Did you hear about the elevator operator that kept making mistakes?
He was wrong on so many levels.
-
A Brief Job
I worked as an underwear model…
It was just a brief job.
-
Without a Tres
There was a Mexican magician. He said he’d disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.
-

Never Heard of Herbivore
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
-

I Already Have That One
I’m addicted to collecting Beatles Albums
It sounds like you need help
No, I already have that one

