Joke Type: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The Worst Thing About Being an Atheist
What’s the worst thing about being an atheist?
You have nobody to talk to when you’re having an orgasm.
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A MILF Shake
What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?
A MILF shake.
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45 Pounds vs 45 Minutes
We all know the difference between a girlfriend and a wife is 45 pounds, but…
Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.Q: What is the definition of “making love”?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It’s not real bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.Q: What’s the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.Q: What does a Polish woman do after she sucks a cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme. -
Taken the Edge Off My Appetite
A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast.
“Bacon, eggs, perhaps some toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit and a cup of fresh coffee.”
He declines, “It’s the Viagra,” he says, “it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunch time she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of homemade soup, maybe with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?”
Again he declines. “No thanks. It’s the Viagra,” he says, “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a super burger. “Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or how about a tasty stir fry? That’ll only take a couple of minutes…?”
Once more he declines, “Again, thanks, but it’s the Viagra. It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
“Well then,” she replies, “Would you mind getting off me? I’m fucking STARVING!”
