Joke Type: shock value

Shock value jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Wont Do What You Tell Me

    Wont Do What You Tell Me

    FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

    FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

    FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

    FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

    MOTHERFUCKER……..UGGGGH!!!!

  • Not Good Enough For Her Family

    A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says…

    “Wait, honey, there’s somethin’ I need you to know. I’m a virgin.”

    “WHAT THE FOOK?” The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out.

    He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her daddy’s house, where he dumps her in the yard.

    Then the man drives to his daddy’s house and goes inside.

    The dad sees his son, and says, “What the hell you doin’ here, boy? Ain’t you supposed to be with your new bride?”

    “Well, pa,” the son says, “I was, but she told me she’s still a virgin.”

    “Well holy dog-shit,” says the dad, “What’d you do then?”

    “I punched her in the face and knocked her out, wrapped her up in the sheets, drug her down the stairs and out the door, threw her in the back of my pick up, and then drove on to her daddy’s house and dumped her on the lawn.”

    The dad starts laughing, and, patting his son on the back, he says, “Good job, son. If she ain’t good enough for her family, I say she ain’t good enough for ours neither.”

  • Something I Dont Know

    Something I Dont Know

    hmm.. lovely weather today

    pft

    tell me something I don’t know

    your Grandma’s ass can take my whole fist..

  • Stuck Up Cunts

    What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing.

    They’re stuck up cunts.

  • How Do You Get a Gay to Fuck a Woman

    How do you get a gay to fuck a woman?

    Shit in her cunt.

  • One Shot Tequila Mcdonalds

    One Shot Tequila Mcdonalds

    Fuck it, one shot of tequila won’t hurt

    3 hours later:

    Man Kicked Out Of McDonalds For Putting His D*ck In A Burger And Yelling THIS IS REAL MEAT, YOU F*CKERS!

  • Multiple Personality Anal

    Multiple Personality Anal

    Her. I have multiple personality disorder

    Him: Do any of them like anal?

  • Cant Breathe Unbutton Pants

    Cant Breathe Unbutton Pants

    I CAN’T BREATHE

    Just Unbutton your Pants

  • Heroin Balloon Butt

    Heroin Balloon Butt

    When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out

    Don’t mind if I do.

  • Disabled Porn

    Disabled Porn

    I’D LIKE THE PORN IN MY ROOM TO BE DISABLED

    WE ONLY HAVE REGULAR PORN YOU SICK BASTARD