Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a

Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
I don’t know why men are always so interested in tits. On the

I don’t know why men are always so interested in tits. On the other hand, I don’t know why *I’m* so interested in them either. Ah, the mysteries of life.
If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be

If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be less put off by my “Hey, baby, check out my awesome wood!” comment?
I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you

I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you can’t spell ‘cunnilingus’ without ‘us.’” She made a fist and said, “And you can’t spell ‘blowjob’ without ‘ow’!”
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get

Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a

Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a little scat,” I honestly thought there would be improvised jazz singing involved.
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the

My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I

The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they

My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they should be in the Titsonian.
I fucked that guy down at the car wash twice today. I wanted to

I fucked that guy down at the car wash twice today. I wanted to be there for the second cumming of Jesus.