Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Sound Advice

    My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

    “It’s worth spending money on good speakers,” he told me.

  • Why Is the Reverse-Cowgirl Position Banned in Alabama?

    Why Is the Reverse-Cowgirl Position Banned in Alabama?

    Why is the reverse-cowgirl position banned in Alabama?

    Because you don’t turn your back on family.

  • Pot holes should be more fun

    If you break it down linguistically, pot holes should really be a lot more fun.

  • Tends to be yellower

    The rain falls upon the just and unjust alike, though the rain that falls upon the just tends to be yellower.

  • Johnny Uses ‘Urinate’ in a Sentence

    Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher was going through a list of words to have each student use in a sentence.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    As she got closer to Johnny, she began to regret her decision. His word was “urinate,” and she really didn’t want to give it to him.

    The teacher asked, “Who wants the next one?”

    Little Johnny’s hand was waving in the air while no one else responded.

    Defeated, the teacher said, “Okay, Johnny, your word is ‘urinate.’”

    Little Johnny thought for a moment, then said, “My dad says you’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a ten.”

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  • Parking fine

    A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I’d positioned my car correctly…
    It said, “Parking fine.” So that was nice.

  • A Ford Oar two-door

    Ford should make a coupe and call it the Oar.
    It’d be a Ford Oar two-door.

  • Those are just contractions

    A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
    “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

  • Say No to Marijuana

    Say No to Marijuana

    Say No to Marijuana

  • He gave me a blank stair

    When I told my contractor that I didn’t want any carpeted steps, he just gave me a blank stair.