It doesn’t take many times shooting the last seated one in the leg before your family gets pretty good at clearing the after-dinner dishes.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Is the question “Is the glass half empty or half full?”
Is the question “Is the glass half empty or half full?” semi-intelligent or semi-idiotic?
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People tell me I should work on my similes; I think I simply need to refine things like
People tell me I should work on my similes; I think I simply need to refine things like someone who refines stuff a lot.
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Ladies, the reality is that if the guy laying next to you asks if you want to “spoon,”
Ladies, the reality is that if the guy laying next to you asks if you want to “spoon,” he really just wants to “fork.”
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That guy Victor, who gets all the spoils?
That guy Victor, who gets all the spoils? I’ll bet his place really stinks.
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It’s important to speak clearly when ordering something over the phone.
It’s important to speak clearly when ordering something over the phone. I asked the bakery to make an erotic cake, and she sent me a cake covered with pictures of the cast from “Seinfeld.”
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In your early 30s, you start to get depressed because you realize that your life may
In your early 30s, you start to get depressed because you realize that your life may very well be half over. By the time you hit 40, you’re relieved because you realize that your life may very well be half over.
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When our receptionist greeted me with “How are you today?”
When our receptionist greeted me with “How are you today?” I answered “Horny. For you.” I’ve always heard that honesty is the best policy, but apparently our company has some other policy that beats it.
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They say you can’t tame a wild rose.
They say you can’t tame a wild rose. And even if you could, probably the only trick you could teach it would be “stay.”
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A money belt is a great way to keep your valuables safe from muggers.
A money belt is a great way to keep your valuables safe from muggers. If you own any antique furniture, you might want to get an extra-large money belt with built-in back support.
