I have a step ladder.
I lost my real ladder at a young age.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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If You Drink Gin You Wont Have Worms
A science teacher set up a simple experiment to show her class the danger of alcohol. She set up 2 glasses, one containing water, the other containing gin. Into each she dropped a worm.
The worm in the water swam merrily around. The worm in the gin quickly died.
“What does this experiment prove?” she asked.
Little Johnny from the back row piped up: “It proves that if you drink gin you won’t have worms.”
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Which One Sir the 8:30 or the 10:30
One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, “Good morning son.”
“Good morning pastor” replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque.
“Sir, what is this?” Johnny asked.
“Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service”, replied the pastor.
Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny’s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, “Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?”
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Firefighter McBurney
There’s no such thing as a perfect name for a firefigh…..
Lieutenant Les McBurney Sun Prairie Fire Department
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Riveting
So, what do you do for work?
I drill holes in sheets of metal.
Then I use metal pins to connect said sheets of metal.
Riveting…
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Are You Going to Tell Her Daddy
Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning. Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper.
His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, “That’s it! No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, “No butter for you for one month!”
Early that evening, Johnny’s mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead.
Johnny’s mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her. To which Johnny said, “Are you going to tell her, daddy, or do you want me to?”
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I Am Sorry Youre So Ugly
Little Johnny said to his aunt Tess: “My God, you’re ugly, aren’t you!”
His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen. “You naughty boy!”, she screamed, “How can you say to your aunt that she’s ugly! You go right in and apologise to her! Tell her you’re sorry!”
Little Johnny entered the living room, walked over to his aunt and said: “Aunt Tess, I am sorry you’re so ugly”
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Waist Of Time
I ONCE TIED ALL MY WATCHES TOGETHER TO MAKE A BELT
THEN REALIZED IT WAS A WAIST OF TIME
made on imgur
